Viewing: Words/Poems - View all posts

I will not 
wipe away my tears
they can dry on my face
because 
no one hears me
like you did
because 
no one knows me
like you did
because 
no one loves me
like you did
I am carrying…

If I worked
occasionally
in a biscuit factory
and shamed the biscuits
for being soft and tasteless
because 
in my opinion 
they are soft and tasteless
should I be vilified 
ignored
sidelined
dismissed
educated maybe
to ensure 
that in future…

I have to sing
somehow
somehow songs will be sung
all the way through 
to the end
without tears
then I will sing another
and another
and another
until I have a set
your set of songs 
eventually
I will…

In the distance I see three SUVs
parked on a muddy track.
Three people emerge,
one from each SUV.

My path takes me closer,
they are camouflaged,
pot bellied men,
each holds a gun.

I pass them by,
they do…

I let the silence envelop me,
cling to my form,
unable to move,
the stillness feels,
surprisingly empowering,
my inner movements 
hidden from view.

Eyes closed,
shallow breaths sustain.
An involuntary sigh,
a deep intake of life,
renders me visible…

how many years 
have I loved you 
how many months 
of you and me 
how many weeks 
have we shared 
how many days 
have we been here
how many hours 
passed us by 
how many seconds 
without goodbye 
35 years …

words invade
unwanted
wanted
they torment 
conflict
collect together 
forming lines
that demand to be written

controversial lines
political lines
self-indulgent lines
angry lines
lines that betray belief
passion spewed across white paper
meanings misconstrued
misinterpreted

released by the writing…

Time measured in emotion,
hangs around,
a guest outstaying their welcome.
The hands of time
shove you against the wall,
trapping you there,
then, casually,
finds something else to do.
Suspended,
unable to move on,
you look at time,
you…

It's vast, this space you have left.
I knew I would miss you,
of course I would,
but what should I do now
with this space?
Yes, there is a sort of freedom,
your parting gift,
what you wanted us…

it feels close now
have we held you back
stopped you leaving
made you hang on
just a little longer
am I ready
no I am not
never thought I would miss them
my parting words
the same every time…

you look tired
shall I sing you a lullaby
to help you sleep
can you sing
you ask
yes I say
I sing the lullaby
your eyes close
then
when the music stops
your eyes open
somewhat surprised
you say…

I reached for your hands
you let me hold them
did not push me away
this time you stayed
we danced
your face
your eyes
sparkled
you know
don't you
no need to mask
with me
with me
you can…

I press myself into your chest
close my eyes and dance
Nina Simone sings
my arms wrap tighter
entwined
we move as one
slowly
deliberately
unaware of who
or where we are
in these tentative
fleeting moments
we feel free…

what doesn't kill you 
makes you stronger 
it doesn't 
layers 
relentlessly 
painfully 
stripped  
eroded 
one  
by  
one 

is that you 
I can't see you 
are you in there 
your smile 
your laugh 
your voice 
monotone 
without colour 
I  
miss  
you

waiting to hear 
waiting to know 
waiting in fear 
waiting in hope 
waiting for sleep 
waiting for dawn 
waiting to stop 
waiting to start 
waiting in line 
waiting in time 
waiting for you 
waiting for life

I miss the silence 
occasionally deafening 
I miss the comeraderie 
when we clapped and held a light 
I miss the frequent family chats 
via zoom and what's app 
I miss you telling me 
stay safe wear a mask 
I miss…

tens 
hundreds 
thousands 
unnoticed they die 
their number up 
but never called 
demographic unknown 
daily updates forgotten 
next slide please forgotten 
wash your hands forgotten 
wear a mask forgotten 
keep your distance forgotten 
warnings  
disregarded 
unheeded 
tens 
hundreds 
thousands 
unnoticed…

Scanning 
anxiously 
around each 
every corner 
adrenaline rushes 
the aisles Pac-Man runs 
you try to evade 
but they appear 
unnerved 
bandits without masks 
tiptoeing across your path 
grabbing that which you 
physically-distanced 
are looking for 

outlaws of compassion 
standing 
delivering …

now we have 
a different kind of love 
a love that's taking 
the long road home 
you tell your stories 
stitched together 
in a broken memory of truth 
we listen like we've never 
heard the story before 
do our best…

Found you dressed this morning, 
sitting on the edge 
of your home hospital bed 
in your polka dot swimsuit. 
You thought you were on holiday, 
but couldn't understand why 
the pictures on your wall 
were the very same as the…

chatting about your ashes 
you laugh 
engaged interested 
surprised 
a diamond ring 
necklace 
bracelet 
earings 
turning a diamond 
into a diamond 
ideas flow 
from the blooming obvious 
burying you under a rose bush 
to downright dangerous 
scattered 
out of the…

sitting on the living room floor 
in the same position we'd have sat 
if the sofa had been there 
we took up our usual places 
you up one end 
me the other 
the room is totally empty 
except for us …

this afternoon  
you cut my hair 
i sit on a kitchen chair 
in the living room 
watching tv  
you work and ask 
are these the right clippers 
i watch the screen 
yes i’m sure 
why 
there’s a lot coming off 

…

i like my mask 
i feel safe 
emotions 
not so easily read 
some 
without masks 
smile at me 
i smile back

six weeks since you left 
and closed your front door 
for the last time 
leaving home comforts 
and me behind 
been hard to see you lately 
haven’t even waved at you 
through a pane of glass 
the pain scars me 

…