Marina Florance

For decades football has been about money, fans' feelings flung to the sidelines, homes of football renamed, removed, demolished, emblems redesigned, colours sullied, players graded by statistics, assists, completed passes, goals (the only stat that actually matters), game times changed…

Scanning 
anxiously 
around each 
every corner 
adrenaline rushes 
the aisles Pac-Man runs 
you try to evade 
but they appear 
unnerved 
bandits without masks 
tiptoeing across your path 
grabbing that which you 
physically-distanced 
are looking for 

outlaws of compassion 
standing 
delivering …

now we have 
a different kind of love 
a love that's taking 
the long road home 
you tell your stories 
stitched together 
in a broken memory of truth 
we listen like we've never 
heard the story before 
do our best…

Found you dressed this morning, 
sitting on the edge 
of your home hospital bed 
in your polka dot swimsuit. 
You thought you were on holiday, 
but couldn't understand why 
the pictures on your wall 
were the very same as the…

chatting about your ashes 
you laugh 
engaged interested 
surprised 
a diamond ring 
necklace 
bracelet 
earings 
turning a diamond 
into a diamond 
ideas flow 
from the blooming obvious 
burying you under a rose bush 
to downright dangerous 
scattered 
out of the…

sitting on the living room floor 
in the same position we'd have sat 
if the sofa had been there 
we took up our usual places 
you up one end 
me the other 
the room is totally empty 
except for us …

this afternoon  
you cut my hair 
i sit on a kitchen chair 
in the living room 
watching tv  
you work and ask 
are these the right clippers 
i watch the screen 
yes i’m sure 
why 
there’s a lot coming off 

…

i like my mask 
i feel safe 
emotions 
not so easily read 
some 
without masks 
smile at me 
i smile back

six weeks since you left 
and closed your front door 
for the last time 
leaving home comforts 
and me behind 
been hard to see you lately 
haven’t even waved at you 
through a pane of glass 
the pain scars me 

…