I will not 
wipe away my tears
they can dry on my face
because 
no one hears me
like you did
because 
no one knows me
like you did
because 
no one loves me
like you did
I am carrying…

If I worked
occasionally
in a biscuit factory
and shamed the biscuits
for being soft and tasteless
because 
in my opinion 
they are soft and tasteless
should I be vilified 
ignored
sidelined
dismissed
educated maybe
to ensure 
that in future…

I have to sing
somehow
somehow songs will be sung
all the way through 
to the end
without tears
then I will sing another
and another
and another
until I have a set
your set of songs 
eventually
I will…

In the distance I see three SUVs
parked on a muddy track.
Three people emerge,
one from each SUV.

My path takes me closer,
they are camouflaged,
pot bellied men,
each holds a gun.

I pass them by,
they do…

I let the silence envelop me,
cling to my form,
unable to move,
the stillness feels,
surprisingly empowering,
my inner movements 
hidden from view.

Eyes closed,
shallow breaths sustain.
An involuntary sigh,
a deep intake of life,
renders me visible…

how many years 
have I loved you 
how many months 
of you and me 
how many weeks 
have we shared 
how many days 
have we been here
how many hours 
passed us by 
how many seconds 
without goodbye 
35 years …

words invade
unwanted
wanted
they torment 
conflict
collect together 
forming lines
that demand to be written

controversial lines
political lines
self-indulgent lines
angry lines
lines that betray belief
passion spewed across white paper
meanings misconstrued
misinterpreted

released by the writing…

Time measured in emotion,
hangs around,
a guest outstaying their welcome.
The hands of time
shove you against the wall,
trapping you there,
then, casually,
finds something else to do.
Suspended,
unable to move on,
you look at time,
you…

It's vast, this space you have left.
I knew I would miss you,
of course I would,
but what should I do now
with this space?
Yes, there is a sort of freedom,
your parting gift,
what you wanted us…

it feels close now
have we held you back
stopped you leaving
made you hang on
just a little longer
am I ready
no I am not
never thought I would miss them
my parting words
the same every time…